In a stunning display of ecological acrobatics, India’s government has decided that clearing out vast stretches of agricultural land—excuse me, I meant “jungle”—is the best way to pave the way for progress. Forget about the delicate ecosystems and centuries-old farming practices; the future of amaravati demands it! Who needs a balanced environment when you have a capital city to build?

As the bulldozers rev up and the trees take their last bow, one can’t help but admire the audacity of it all. In any other civilized country, this would be labeled an environmental crime of epic proportions, leading to protests, petitions, and probably a few angry tweets. But in new India, all you need is a little financial backing and a friendly chat with Modi ji or Nirmala Sitharaman. After all, what’s a few trees compared to the promise of urban development?

The irony is delicious. We watch in awe as the government champions “development” while simultaneously erasing agricultural lands that have fed families for generations. It’s almost poetic—if poetry were about bulldozers and the sweet sound of chainsaws. Who cares about biodiversity when there are concrete layouts waiting to be unveiled?

The sight of cleared land is a thrilling one; the “jungle” transformed into a blank canvas for future skyscrapers. With the new capital’s construction set to begin in two months, it’s clear that nature’s only purpose is to make way for progress, right? We’re clearly too sophisticated to worry about things like air quality or food security when there are roads to build and apartments to sell.

So here’s to amaravati, the shining symbol of our times! Let’s raise our glasses (made of recycled plastic, of course) to a future where the only thing left of the “jungle” is the occasional instagram post reminiscing about the good old days—before development swept through like a modern-day cyclone. Cheers to progress, and let’s hope the environment can keep up!