In a truly groundbreaking (and hilariously grim) observation, the supreme court of india has recently unveiled the new entrepreneurial genius thriving in our beloved institution of marriage. Justice BV Nagarathna, armed with wisdom and perhaps a touch of bemusement, stated outright what many whispered in family whatsapp groups: “Hindu marriage is sacred, not a commercial venture.”
Cue collective gasps from matrimonial lawyers, who reportedly dropped their pens mid-alimony calculation.
The Hon'ble Bench didn’t stop there. Oh no, this was no ordinary legal sermon—it was an exposé. Apparently, most divorce cases now come with a “standardized accusation package,” a preloaded combo deal that reads something like this: “Your husband is guilty of cruelty, criminal intimidation, unnatural sex, dowry harassment, and (drumroll) rape!” Add this to your lawyer’s arsenal and watch the financial settlements roll in faster than your amazon Prime deliveries.
One can almost imagine the brainstorming sessions at legal chambers:
Lawyer 1: “Let’s start with dowry.”
Lawyer 2: “Too basic. Let’s spice it up with cruelty!”
Lawyer 3: “Throw in a dash of rape. That’ll really bring the alimony home.”
Justice Nagarathna, however, was having none of it. “Marriage is not a tool for exploitation,” she declared, echoing sentiments that most husbands embroiled in this system probably whispered into their pillows at night. The observation not only highlights the misuse of laws meant for protection but also throws light on a new career option for modern brides: Strategic Marital Dissolution for Profit.
The Great indian marriage Startup
Once upon a time, a young bride entered a marriage with dreams of companionship and shared Netflix passwords. Now, it seems, she might also come armed with a business plan:
- Initial Investment: Designer lehenga, over-the-top wedding, and a killer wedding hashtag (#HitchedAndRich).
- Execution Phase: Wait a few months. Maybe a year, if she’s feeling generous.
- ROI (Return on In-Laws): Launch accusations from the "combo package," lawyer up, and secure a cushy alimony.
In this new narrative, lawyers double as business consultants. Brides, beware: Your wedding planner might start offering “exit strategy” packages alongside mehendi designs.
Justice for Husbands: A Distant Dream?
The Hon'ble court rightly pointed out the systemic bias. But what’s next? Will laws finally evolve to recognize that husbands aren’t ATM machines with emotional baggage? Or will we just watch another Netflix original about a “Bad Boy Billionaire” being harassed by his gold-digging wife?
Perhaps the parents of daughters, too, should shoulder some responsibility. As one commentator suggested, “Train your daughters to be noble housewives.” Noble? Sure. But housewives? In 2024? That might warrant a law against cruel parental expectations.
Joint Alimony: A Solution or a Satirical Delight?
The indian Succession Act 2005 enters the chat with a spicy proposal: Why not make both sets of parents contribute to the divorce settlement? After all, why should only the husband’s family bear the financial brunt of this sacred-cum-commercial disaster? Now there’s a wedding toast-worthy idea.
A Final Word of Sarcastic Praise
Justice Nagarathna, take a bow! You’ve called out the elephant in the courtroom and handed it a mic. The message is clear: Marriage is not a startup. Divorce is not a business model. And laws are not here to fund entrepreneurial dreams.
For now, we await the next landmark case, perhaps titled, “Accusations vs. Accountability: The business of Broken Bonds.” Until then, let’s all raise a glass to balanced justice and pray that the sacred bond of marriage doesn’t turn into the next Shark Tank pitch. Cheers!
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