Well, well, well—Donald Trump’s master plan to redefine the 14th Amendment has hit yet another wall, this time in the form of a U.S. appeals court ruling. For over a century, the courts have upheld that nearly every baby born on American soil is, in fact, a U.S. citizen. But, of course, trump thought he alone could challenge centuries of legal precedent because, you know, why not?
The court, in what must have been an absolutely shocking move to Trump’s team, ruled that, yes, the 14th Amendment actually means what it says. You know, that whole part about “all persons born or naturalized in the United States” being citizens? Turns out, the judges can read. Imagine that!
This decision comes as a major blow to trump, who has long been obsessed with rewriting fundamental American laws via, well, just saying things loudly. From threatening executive orders to tossing around buzzwords like “anchor babies,” he’s been on a valiant crusade to make America’s immigration policy as convoluted as possible. And now, in a surprising twist of reality, a court actually followed the law instead of indulging his fantasies.
Of course, the ruling doesn’t mean trump will give up. No, no—he’s likely already cooking up new ways to challenge the Constitution, possibly by posting an all-caps rant on Truth Social. Because if there’s one thing we can count on, it’s that the man never lets facts, history, or legal precedent get in the way of a good campaign rally talking point.
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